walk life..

I dont know how a person blogs with this situation in mind..
Nahihilo na ako, barely 2 hours sleep for almost 30+ hours now.. ewan ko ba..
Yesterday then..

At about 3 pm, we went my mom's office to fetch her, owing to the fact na ooperahan nga siya kinabukasan non..so magchecheck in na sa medical city..ayun, we arrived at the hospital at around 4 something, from then on onwards, bonding nalang.. kumain kami sa max's dun sa hospital din..we went back to the room and said our[me and my lil bro]goodbyes.. i never actually said anything, i just kissed mom on the cheeks and hugged her..a miracle, sort of..hinatid kami ni papa dito sa bahay, tapos nagbabay din sa kanya, aun, dumating kami dito ng mga bago mag ten pm.

It was a very long night, hindi ako natulog eh.. nanuod ako ng stained glass at full house[pano kaya un, eh sabay un..wahahaha..], tapos naligo at nagonline dito ng sandali..nagusap din kami ni cha for a number of hours, we said our goddbye's at around 2:40 am..di nga siya nakatulog, mageenroll pamandin, sorry ha? =)
After that, wala nakong magawa, paonline online dahil sabog pc at nanonood ng tv..
[to be continued]

undefined..

I wish I can bring back yesterday..what a day..in my perspective, the start wasnt at all perfect, but the rest was just that. Just this thought, Ive been thinking of blogging about yesterday since yesterday..wah! And still, up to now, I cant put into words what exactly were those happenings. Freaky, the day was so freaky.. freakin' perfect, absolutely nothing wrong. Made me forget present difficulties.

Im going to cut things short, wala pako sa tamang pagiisip para magblog tungkol kahapon, kasi baka may malagay pakong medyo tagilid, or may kulang, ayoko naman nun, kasi di lang naman ako nagbabasa neto, siguro ibang tao din, eh kung mabasa pa nia ate, wah! Wahehehe.. corny ko, ah basta, Id really rather keep the whole day's memory to myself..and hers of course, kami un eh. Wahahaha..tawa nalang.

Thursday, so many things running in my mind. My mom's going under the knife tommorow morning, procedure wont take long, but still, worry overwhelms me. Prayers are all i ask for. Thanks..

The memory of yesterday..undefined nga..unforgettable..damn!
Para po sa kasama ko kahapon, charry.. I love you so much..=)

No Title..

Freedom, when there, never was it felt
Far sighted, those who seek it
Freedom, unnerving, possible
Not now, but not never

A burden, placed upon a both
Not yours, not mine, not no one
A curse, more than a gift
Not theirs, not ours, its everyone's

Quickly, dont move
Feel it now, sooner its there
Think for it, dont think with it
Grab on, sooner or later, its gone

A touch could do, than never
Freedom, thought it was close
Alas, it wasnt, as the former
Freedom, its for the far sighted

Palabas..

Oras na.. eto na pinakahihintay mo.. bata, eto na siya..

"sa wakas! matagal tagal na din ako nagantay.. eto na nga.."

Isip ng bata..di rin maikukubli na talagang sabik na sabik na ang bata..sa itsura ng kanyang matagumapay na mukha, masaya nga siya..naku, kahit naman ikaw eh..matutuwa ka din at masisiyahan pag malamang mong ikaw na nga, dahil alam mong nagantay ka din ng may pagkatagal tagal..sa bagay, iba iba sa lahat ng tao eh, depende lang yan sa kapalaran..merong mga sandali lang nagaantay, merong ding medyo matagal.

Pawis na pawis ang bata, wari bay kinakabahan, gusto na talaga nitong makaraos..di na siya makapagantay, nagmamadali, parang hinahabol ni kamatayan kung maghubad. Ang bilis! Maaalala mo ung scene sa pelikulang bruce almighty, nung nahubad ang damit sa isang iglap lamang. Brip nalang ang kanyang tinira. Ganito ba talaga ang nagagawa ng pagkasabik?

Hawak na nia, halos ga-daliri nalang ang layo, wah! pero ano to?! Di na napigilan ng bata, sa sobrang sabik at antisipasyon.. lumabas! lumabas ang.. ano.. basta lumabas! dire diretso ang labas nia, di nia man lang napigilan..patay! patay! ano nalang ang sasabihin nia!?

"@$T@#!%#*&!! Leche naman oh!"

Sigaw ng bata, hiyang hiya siya, biruin mo, sa pagkatagal tagal ng kanyang pagaantay, andiyan na eh, onti nalang, halos mabibilang nalang sa segundo ang tagal, di pa nia napigilan..normal ba ito? palagay niay hindi, nakakahiya talaga..

"Waaaahhh!! Bat lumabas agad! .........

Kay malas mo naman bata, onti nalang, andian na talaga. Ang bobo mo naman kasi eh, ayan na nga eh, andami mo pa arte, tingnan mo ginawa mo! Di ka na nahiya! Ano nalang sasabihin ng gelprend mo nian sayo? Aba! Di marunong magpigil! Tsk tsk tsk.. madami ka pang dapat matutunan..

Katorse anyos kana! NATATAE KA PA SA BRIP MO?!

threesome..

A story through different perspectives..read on..
hindi sex story to! nice title though..

[Bestfriend]
I look at her as I blush... she's so beautiful and everything, but why does my heart ache? Id rather focus on my food than stare at her. Why am I like this? What's happening to me? I don't want them to know that I'm in love with the girl in front of me. I need to lock this feeling inside of me, Id rather not meddle in this affair. I excuse myself as I finish my food.

As I walk outside the restaurant, a flashback came into my mind, suddenly filling my heart with anger and longing. It was when she and I got together in the lake. Just sitting around... talking... hanging out.. then she became suddenly so cheerful. And there she goes, childish again. I was wondering why she was like that, then I heard it, she and my bestfriend. Together. A couple. I can't believe what I've just heard. It felt like a needle half a yard long had just pierced through my heart and through my chest. The pain was so overwhelming, that I had to fight away the tears, but the pain was too much to hide, and it showed. And she saw it. She asked me if there's something wrong. I needed to hide my feelings. I don't want them to know that I feel jealous. But I'm trying to get over it. And I hope I will...

[The Girl]
So he left. He didn't recognized my stolen glances at him. And even if he did, he doesn't care. He doesn't give a damn about me. I was so foolish to think that I love this guy beside me, to say yes to my boyfriend when he proposed commitment. I was so stupid that I didnt let my feelings do the talking. Now here I am, between the devil and the deep blue sea, knowing that I did not love the one that loved me, knowing the truth that his bestfriend was the one.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked as he recognized that I was in deep thought.
"Oh, it's nothing! I'm just wondering why... people hide their emotions?"
I lied, yet he smiled at me. Thoughts came racing through my head..'nice excuse! dumbass!'
"You want me to answer that? I think it's because it's in our instincts to have a mask carved in our naked face. We are in a world of masquerade. We just let our faces exposed to other people if we enjoyed dancing with them. Did I make sense?" he answered.
"Maybe?" I replied.
Fuck!!! See, I can't even tell him the truth... that I'm not in love with him and that my heart only belongs to his bestfriend. But I know that if I tell him, he will be in deep pain and will lose him. I don't want to hurt anyone, I dont even want to lose him. I think I am realizing why people hide their emotions. Fear. Could it be?

[Boyfriend]
I'm so lucky with my girlfriend. She's everything that I want and everything that I need. I love the way she looks and the way she comforts me. I don't want to let her go. She's my life and if ever she walks away from me... it leave another scar in my heart and I will be filled with emptiness again. I don't want to let that happen again... ever! I promise you baby, I will always be here for you no matter what, I love you so much! I hope you love me the way I love you..

[Ako]
thanks to bryan for letting me borrow this nice story..
some words edited for some reasons.. para mas mahaba.. lol
how sad..i think i know where this is going though..
have a good day everyone..:-D

bata sa bagong mundo..

The last few days were.. sort of a mix between fun and sad..well, it was mostly fun, of course..I was with my cousins for about more or less four days. I really missed our stupid moments together. I could only ask for more. As of now, nothing new. Well, of course there is. I've gone almost a week now without blogging, so definitely there should be something worthwhile.

This day was very tiring, spent most of it on the road, some on my soon to be school, and of course at home. I never got to do what I wanted today, yesterday, and the many other days before. I really wanted to go and see her, but money was avoiding me. Today then, I am now officially enrolled in UST.. thank goodness, all the constant self bickering and some prayers were answered, I am, after all that, going to study at the school I really wanted to study at. Lucky, yes..a little bit.
Weird..going to different places and rooms, to place yourself among the thousands of students the school has. To be called one of them, a thomasian. Paying a lot of cash for their teachings, and their ever so present requirements and burdens. Still paying a lot of cash for some credentials, facilities, uniforms and such. T'was pretty confusing at first, I really didnt know where to go, in fact, i wasted some precious time waiting for a person at the CFAD office to ask a question to, only then to find out that the answer was far away. Campus is so damn huge..lol.

Tagalog then, ayoko na magenglish..poonyeta..hehehe.
Sa uniform lang talaga ako nakapila ng matagal, ung pagbabayad, at iba pang bagay bagay, sandali lang naman. Nako, at may ROTC pa ako, dahil napakacorny naman ng ibang choices sa NSTP..community service? literacy blablabla? No thanks, magbababad nalang ako sa araw. Standing in attention, parade rest, all that stuff to ensure that I complete the required units to complete the sem. Dami pang gastos at gawain..leche.

Time flies, so quickly. Honestly, I can't keep up with it. So many things, so little time. Andami pang aalahanin. College nako, di ko na matatakasan to. Palapit na ng palapit ang masaklap na katotohanan. Life itself. Silver lining? There is, 4 more days, half a year gone, always and forever. Yes, it makes the fucking world go round. More often than not, it will turn you upside down. Nice.

Ambigrams are nice..

they are.. an ambigram is a word that looks the same both ways, whether upside down or not..





astig daw eh..

A private life? I dont think so..

This are some reasons why i dont want to live in the US..
despite the cash..
Some security facts in the so called, "land of the free"

-In large cities, Americans are photographed on the average of 20 times a day.
-Everything you charge is in a database that police, among others, can look at.
-Supermarkets track what you purchase and sell the information to direct-mail marketing firms.
-Your employer is allowed to read your E-Mail, and if you use your company's health insurance to purchase drugs, your employer has access to that information.
-Government computers scan your E-Mail for subversive language.
-Your cell phone calls can be intercepted, and your access numbers can be cribbed by eavesdroppers with police scanners.
-You register your whereabouts every time you use an ATM, credit card, or use EZ PASS at a toll booth.
-You are often being watched when you visit web sites. Servers know what you're looking at, what you download, and how long you stay on a page.
-A political candidate found his career destroyed by a newspaper that published a list of all the videos he had ever rented.
-Most "baby monitors" can be intercepted 100 feet outside the home.
-Intelligence agencies now have "micro-bots" -- tiny, remote control, electronic "bugs" that literally can fly into your home and look around without your noticing.
-Anyone with $100 can tap your phone.
a new technology called TEMPEST can intercept what you are typing on your keypad (from 100 feet away through a cement wall.)
-the National Security Agency has a submarine that can intercept and decipher digital communications from the RF emissions of underwater phone cables.

bored..

walang magawa..











wala lang..

before the day ends..

Wrong title..for one, it already has..12:43 am and counting, its april 13 already. Moron.

Before i sleep, or try to, i would like to point out that this day has unexpectedly turned out to be good after all. I just wish we could have talked more, i hate restrictions. Well, who doesnt anyways. Of course, it depends, but..whatever. As Reevan said, "masarap ang bawal." oo nga naman..pero not all times, eventhough he likes to point it is. I got to talk to her for a while, less than an hour i think. I know, that was far from enough, lets just look at the silver lining for now. At least i got to talk to her. Nice day after all. Although it isnt one of those that you would want to remember for at least a day or so.

Goodmorning to you..whoever you are..you've stumbled upon stupidness at its finest..

Bakit nga ba?!

Linggo. Pinatulog ako ng maaga, sa kadahilanan na kelangan ko kasi uutusan daw ako bukas ng aking tatay para sa kanyang trabaho. Asar. Nakausap ko ang ate ko ng mga hanggang ala una ng umaga, masakit kasi ulo nia. Pero alas tres na ko ng umaga nakatulog...ang galing no. Ang masaklap pa dun, alas siyete palang ay ginising na ako. Sobrang sarap ng tulog ko, parang di nga ako natulog eh. Ampucha, anlupet. Lunes ng umaga, pinapunta ako sa 2 bangko, may mga ibinayad at iba pa. Nakauwi ako ng mga pasado alas diyes. Pagdating ng mga ala una, nagpaalam ako sa aking tatay para pumunta sa glorietta kasama si Ralph. Bumili kami ng bolang pang soccer. Umuwi din kami agad, masakit kasi tiyan ni loko, sinamahan pa ako. Alas kuwatro, andito nako sa bahay. Kumain pa kami sa wendy's. Halos ubos na pera ko, pero ok lang naman siguro. Siguro. Naabutan din ako ng antok, at alas nuwebe palang ng gabi ay umakyat na ako sa kama. Nakatulog ako, pero nagising ako ng alas diyes, at hindi na nakatulog hanggang ala una ng umaga. Nawala na ang pagkakaalam ko sa oras, hindi ko alam kung tama ang araw ng mga nakasulat dito, ah basta. Bat ba ganito..

Martes na. Hindi talaga ako makapaginternet ng regular, sukat banamang tanggalin ang modem ng pc ko. Di ko na ibabalik, baka masira at sisihin ako. Madami panamang trabaho. Buti nalang at inassemble tong pangatlo, kaya eto ako ngayon. Swertehan nalang. Sana di makita mga ginawa ko dito. Hehehe..

Miss ko na siya talaga. Hay naku, ewan ko ba. Masasabi mo din na lagi naman, pero ganun eh. Miss na.. sobra. Medyo nakakasawa na nga to pakinggan, diba lagi na lang to naririnig kapag di kau nakakapagusap o di naman kaya ay nagkikita ng iilang, sabihin na nating, mga segundo, minuto, oras, araw, o linggo. Parang nagiging pang araw araw nalang na gawain ang sabihin ito, parang, kung marinig mo, wala lang. Siguro nga. Para sa iba, sa akin hindi eh. Masyadong komplikado ang mga nararamdaman ko, pero eto sigurado, pag sinasabi ko ito, totoo. Ibig sabihin, di ako mapakali kasi gustong gusto ko siya makausap man lang o makita. Di siya matanggal sa isip ko, at hindi ako makapagisip ng maayos dahil dito. Bakit kaya ganito?!

My blogger account is new, so in relation to that, i should update often..thing is, i cant, because i was sort of "banned" from using the computer i always use, my dad's. It has a password now, unlike before. Duh. Thank goodness mine's connection still works. Its been a long time since i used this. Its faster than the other one, but so full of viruses. So internet is a patience test here.

I started saturday as a normal teenager like me would, i woke up at around noon, and then watched tv. I always am like that. Lazy, good-for-nothing, stupid bum. I thought it would be just one of those days. I was wrong. Completely wrong. To make the not so long story short, we[we, pertaining to me and cha..] met at around 5 pm at the mcdonalds in barangka. Ang cute cute talaga..wahahaha..peace. I said goodbye to her before 7 i think. Eventhough she was with her cuz, it was ok. I just wanted to see her. Mainly because its been almost three months since we saw each other. I was happy, contented. Well, that was an understatement for sure.

Yesterday, i went to different places in qc with my family. It was ok, although i was a bit doozy from the other day. Harharhar. Got home at around 10:30. Talked to her for a while on the phone, and dozed off at around 2 am.

Evil Genius is so damn addicting. I dont know what is the 'addicting factor' in the game, but it is definitely worth a try. The learning curve is not that hard. I got it without even finishing the boring tutorial. Its sort of a 60's spy genre game, you playing an evil genius, bent on world domination and building the ultimate world destruction weapon. Its a good game all around, it was rated around 85++ % on gamesmaster. Good enough.

This vacation definitely wont turn out the way i want it to be. Definitely.
Damn Work..

reminiscing..

Re - posted from my tabulas..woot..

The pope is dead, His Holiness, born in Poland, christened as Karol Wojtyla. Died at the age of 84 years old. I believe no one can fill his shoes. God bless his successor.

But my entry has nothing to do with this. There is something wrong with me.. there always has been.. but these days have been different. Im not that irritable anymore, still irritable, but lesser than before im afraid. I dont eat that much anymore, my meal per day average; 1.5. Whoa, and im not dieting. Theres this awkward feeling that i should, and I am, but I dont think so. When ate asks why, I just tell her Im too lazy to eat. Talk about being a bum. 2 weeks ago, I though graduation day would never come, well, of course it will. Such an ass. What a way to celebrate april fool's day, graduate from one of the best secondary schools in metro manila, or maybe in mandaluyong only. Sad to say, im proud of my school. [Huh?!] Well I am, but only such. Because every school has its flaws, and mine has. A lot. But what matters is, those 4 years made me what I am today. I like to think so.

In those 4 years of being a bosconian, on my first year alone, i learned how to use a coping saw, how to put your workpiece in a bench vise without breaking your finger, and how to mix polylite, hardener and dye without making too much of a commotion with its gawking but addicting smell. It explodes too. Best memory from first year? Many of course, but those that stuck itself most in my mind was those pranks classmates played on our god bless her..not! CAE teacher. Mrs. ADELAIDA CORDOVA. And of course, the incident in which a fluorescent bulb hit my classmate on the head when it fell because of a basketball thrown at it. Bwahahaha. Barbaric moron. Oh, and i also learned that not passing all of your shop projects means a 75 for your card, if your teacher is 6 feet tall and you look like an ass like me.

On my sophomore year, i definitely learned that my scoutmaster slash drafting instructor at the present back then[huh?!] was a complete ASSHOLE and JERK. 2nd year was the worst year of them all for me, mainly because of my classmates and that instructor. Imagine having to make a power supply for gameboys and battery-run electronics from a rusted piece of metal and a transformer that leaks. Stupid instructor never let me get my report card until enrollment day itself. Jackass. And to think that he would be my drafting instructor for the rest of my highschool life. Damn that. Best memory in 2nd year? Fieldtrip. Dolphins. Sea Lions. Harhar.

My junior and senior years were definitely the best of them all. Id be blogging about them next time. For the meantime, I would like to say this. I miss my school already, i was there just yesterday and last monday, mainly because i wanted to get my card, and my little brother took the entrance exam. I just caught myself reflecting and reminiscing, while staring at the vast quadrangle and portico. I just realized this. I spent the best years of my teenage life here. Pro deo et Patria. For God and Country. Whatever. This school already has a place in my heart.

testing..

blogger ewans..