Fire..

a dagger sinking into eternity..

2005-08-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

lahat na ng kinatakutan ko.. eto na.. kelangan pa bang ilagay dito? tangina.. ewan ko lang, pero ang sakit sakit.. siguro lahat ng saya at tuwa ng idinulot ng nakaraan ay may kapalit din.. bakit ganon? kung meron man akong nagawang kasalanan.. ganto ba ang kapalit non? hindi siya nagkakapantay pantay sa aking paningin..

lahat ng kinakatakutan ko.. nangyayari na.. lahat ng ayokong mangyari at dumating.. parating na at nangyayari na nga.. kay sakit isipin na araw lang ang bilangin noong ang saya saya pa natin..araw lang..parang kahapon lang.. TANGINA! lahat na ang nangyayari ngayon nagkakapatong patong na na parang may isang pinangagalingan ng lahat..gusto ko malaman mo.. mahal na mahal kita.. yon lang..

ANG SAKIT..

Uhmm..

2005-07-29T19:05:00.000+08:00

About time you posted something in here.. ass..wow, its been a month and a half already? Shit I never noticed. Err, well, actually I did, but since the stupid computer is not helping, my oh so long post just got deleted word for word only last last week, I got lazier and lazier to blog.

But since I got inspired by other blogs by some highschool friends, Im going to put something idiotic in here. Something to read, but not get excited upon. Sheesh..

It started not an ordinary day. It just can't be ordinary, even if you consider the fact that you ride two jeeps to her place, wait a little while for her, ride two jeeps, have a hard time bidding goodbye when you reach v.cruz street, walk a little, ride another jeep, think of not paying because you dont have any change, not paying anyways even if you do, [how do you say, bumaba sa espanya in english? takte na memental block ako.. at sadyang tanga.. hay..], walking almost a quarter of a kilometer to the ever so late magbukas CFAD building..[as mga archi.. AMIN LANG TO.. nyahaha..] and entering as it opens..from tuesday to friday, some mondays. IT JUST CANT BE ORDINARY..dont ask..

A couple of blockmates were already inside the room when I entered, I sat beside Jacky.. owing to the fact that I dont even talk to the other blockmate..He's too much of a.. weirdo..weirdo as in weirdo, surpassing CFAD standards..[our college is known for the 'weird people' it hosts..]and started on my LC plate..[color wheel sa oslo paper.. using poster colors..] I finished it roughly about 30 minutes after the professor arrived..then another color wheel on an illustration board.. then..time for DotA!! Wow..yayness.. Andy, the pro, was absent.. so we enjoyed ourselves a little bit more than the usual.. although I missed him..fafaness..[oh shet bakla na talaga ako no..]

I think we arrived at the room a little bit late.. well, nevertheless the still wasnt inside, she's always late. When she did, we were asked to show our concepts. Naturally, I didnt do mine at home, so I rushed to draw some just to say I did some. Something like that. Halfway through her calling the class in groups of three, I was told that my concepts were wrong, so I did right ones, but got bored because they still needed to be cut into exact shape. Since I dont even have an ounce of talent in me, naturally I just showed the wrong ones, and she just explained how to do it right. Because I am such a lazy moron wanting to go home because I have nothing to look forward to anyways, owing to the fact that ate's dismissal is at 9 in the evening..because of some GA.., I went with two of my classmates and went out early. As in 1 hour early. We werent doing anything anyways, so what the heck. This part of college, I like. Really like. We even had a break for ourselves, just me and Geim, after ours were checked. We just went out of the classroom and ate at the small canteen at the back of the building. How nice. You'd get chucked out if this were highschool. Onwards then..the three of us, me, Giem and Jacob, went to the pavilion at the far end of the main field. We were then greeted by Jacques and Mark, two classmates who got out too, and Jacques' <3, Lari.. The three of us, the former three, just sat there while waiting for the other three..We just sat there talking about..stuff. I even got the chance to pick up some pink and green colored rubber bands. I like collecting these stuff..absolute gayness. Then I accompanied the two to the main building to sort their requirement stuff, only to find out that the registrar's office was closed already. Jacob went the other way, while me and Geim walked all to the other side of the campus. After getting out the supposed entrance, we separated ways and I rode a jeep to taft, one of the four jeeps home. Hell, the perfect word to describe the damn traffic. Sleep was inevitable when I got home. I really HATE going home without my ate..how SAD..

pay as you order..

2005-06-16T10:56:00.000+08:00

Masaya sa mga panahong ganun..parang walang ibang inaaalala sa mundo..blanko, wala lang. kung may pumasok man, lalabas din at puputok na parang bula..hindi mo ito papansinin, kahit gano kalaki ang tama niya, dahil alam mong mas dapat pinagtutuunan ng pansin ang kasalukuyan. Alam mong sandali lang ay matatapos din yun, pero kahit ganon, ayos lang. Paminsan-minsan pa nga, ang sasabihin mo lang sa sarili mo, "wala akong pakialam, masaya ako ngayon, saka na yan, bahala na." Madalas to eh, taking things as they come..

Pero hanggang dun lang yun eh, pagkalipas ng panahong pinakaiingatan, babalik na ang kamunduhan. Ang mga alalahanin, problema, pasakit at iba pa. Sayang, sana hindi nalang natatapos ang mga panahong ganon. Pero sabi nga nila, life must go on. Masahol man yan o hindi, tanggapin nalang. Live with it. Hay nako, wala talaga akong sense kahit kailan..

Halos tatlong linggo na simula ng huli akong magpost dito, sabi ko noon ayoko pa. Ayoko pang magkolehiyo, ganong ganon ang nararamdaman ko noon, walang pakialam, bahala na, pag dumating nalang. Eh pano ba yan, eto na siya. Ang tanging hiling ko nalang ay huwag mangyari ang kinakatukan ko. Alam mo na siguro yon. Kung hinde, malamang, wala kang pakialam..

Base sa mga kasalukuyang pangyayari, masasabi ko naman na kahit papano ay ok pa ang buhay kolehiyo, malamang puro bakante, leche yan, mag aalas onse palang ng umaga, ala una pa ang susunod kong klase. Six thirty palang nga andito nako eh. Kasalukuyan akong nasa tapat ng UST, sa may kalye ng espanya, sa isang computer shop, kasama ang isang skulmeyt sa busko. Halos isang oras lang naglast ang 7 - 11 kong klase. Asus..

Masyado nako hindi mapakali, ewan ko kung bakit, siguro dahil wala parin akong maramdaman na paramdam simula kaninang umaga nung umalis kami papunta sa eskuwelahan. Limang sakay ako para makarating ng ust. Sikreto ko na muna kung bakit, dahil 3 lang ang normal. Masaya ang umagang papunta sa iskwela. Sobra. Sana nga kahit wala pang alas sais yon magtrapik nalang ng todo todo. Hay..

Malala na tong pakiramdam na to, wala lang. Komplikado eh. Naiinggit ako in a sense na gusto ko rin maenjoy tong mga unang araw nato tulad nung sayo..Hindi ikaw, basta..

Malapit ko na rin matanggap ang mga pangyayaring to. Dahil alam kong may kapalit din ang kasiyang nadudulot ng lahat ng ito. Kaysaya ng ganitong klaseng kalayaan, kahit alam kong panandalian lang ang iba sa mga ito, lulubusin ko na ang sayang dinudulot nito sakin..sana sayo din..Gusto ko na ulit magbukas ng umaga..

ayoko pa..

2005-05-23T17:47:00.000+08:00

eto po ang green na background..

malapit na matapos ang mga kasiyahan sa bakasyon..

malapit na mawala ang mga pinagpupuyatang gabi..

on the contrary, baka nga dumami pa eh..

naghihintay na siya, nakabukas ang pintuan..

malapit na tayo papasukin..

ayoko pa, mauna nalang kayo sa linya..

pero meron bang gusto mauna?

meron din siguro, mga halimaw sa pagaaral..

ako, hindi, wag nalang, dito nalang muna ako..

lulubus lubusin ang mga kakarampot na pagkakataon..

malapit na, malapit na.. ayoko pa..

i dont know..

2005-05-09T20:41:00.000+08:00

The past few days have really been, utterly unexplainable. I dunno, they were, I feel a certain fit of anxiety every now and then, and, as if by a stroke of luck, a bit..responsible? I cant get the term right, but, its this feeling that I want to do everything I really am supposed to do in the least time possible. Ugh, I really cant believe that, I mean, me? So I have just realized that I CAN be a bit of a helper sometimes.. SOMETIMES..

This anxiety can kill, once unleashed, I have got this inkling sense of preboding, i really dont know, but I really want to get out and do something, get out of this house..escape those responsibilities, the chores, work, everything. I rarely get this feeling, it only comes when theres something up, and indeed, somethings definitely up. Im in the right category, but still I have to point it out specifically. But of course, I really know what I want to do, definitely, no questions. But the catch is, the one that I am referring to is the one which is the hardest to do of them all, it has the lowest success rate, I have the lowest luck in doing it and preparing of it, and as of the moment, should I try to do it, it is very likely that Im going to become the most insensitive prick of a son a mother has ever raised. Overruled, too much, too metaphorical. But as they say, you cant have too much of a good thing..[huh?!]

I sort of have a summer job, doing messenger stuff, pretty easy, although I am supposed to be paid for it, I still haven't received anything..but no matter, I think letting me go to spend a day with my girlfriend and giving me money to spend on it is more than enough. I just wish I have more of the work, so I can be allowed to go again, should the current situations allow it. My mother still isnt that well, there is the occasional hurting of the stitches in the stomach, but I think more rest would do the trick, as of the moment its the only reason that is hindering me from getting out and doing the things I want, see her, play football, go out with some friends, eat goto.. ah, the pleasures. Simple pleasures at that. I rarely get those pleasures now, so rare, even the 9/11 attack was more of a common thing, even if it only happened once. Now how freaking exaggerated was that statement. What a moron, the one whos writing this shit.

If ever you read this part, in any way possible, whether by reading it word for word or just a scan, its pretty obvious. what i wanted to do, stated in the 2nd paragraph, explained in the third, told here..I want to see my ate again, in any place possible, any time available..Patience..my only comrad..help me through this..

May Angal?!

wala lang..

2005-05-06T14:21:00.000+08:00

hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.

oo, napakatotoo neto.. iba talaga kasi ang dating sakin neto eh..
parang, pag kahawak mo kamay nia, nakakawala talaga ng problema..
a mere slice of heaven.. definitely..

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

LSS?

2005-05-06T14:11:00.000+08:00

Eto nanaman.. ang tagal nang hindi naguupdate, wala talaga oras, well, meron, pero tong batang to, sinusumpong ng katamaran, sa totoo lang, bakit pa? Wala namang nagbabasa dito eh, naisipan ko lang maglagay ngayon kasi nakita ko ung tag nia..hehe..^_^

Madalas akong parang si beethoven, kilala mo un, ung sikat na composer na european ata, bingi siya, pero ang gaganda ng compose nia, nung panahon na yun maganda, pero ngayon? Syempre ang corny. Si beethoven kasi, madaming mga tono ang umiikot ikot sa kanyang utak, tapos, ung mga paligoy ligoy na tonong yun, nagagawa niang isang magandang 'masterpiece'. Ang galing nga eh, biruin mo, bingi, nakakacompose. Astig diba?

Pero bat ko nga ba naihalintulad ang sarili ko sa kanya? Pucha ang kapal ko naman.. hindi ako genius composer, malamang, hindi rin ako nakakarinig ng musika sa utak ko, at mas lalong hindi ako bingi.

Kasi, imbis na musika ang naririnig ko, mga salita. Tagalog na salita, parang nagnanarrate tungkol sa buhay. Madalas ko itong maranasan pag nasa jeep ako, nakatingin ng malayo, dahil sa sobrang trapik sa may JRU, at acacia lane. Wala lang, parang may nagnanarrate sa utak ko, nagsasabi ng mga katotohanan sa buhay, ung mga masasaklap at magagandang pangyayari sa bawat buhay ng tao. Para itong LSS, kaya nga lang, hindi kanta, mga salita lang tlaga, pero syempre may sense.
Kaninang umaga, papunta ako ng school, namp, ang trapik, nandun pa nga lang sa may shell may pila na ng jeep, ayon, tinopak nanaman ako. Hindi lang mga tungkol sa buhay in general ang mga naririnig ko, sa totoo lang, di ko nga boses un eh, boses ni Jorge, ung bida at best actor nominee sa pelikulang zatti na Tanggapin Mo, directed by Javerri. Ang nagnanarrate naman kanina sa aking utak, past experiences ko, may mga realizations na dumadaan, pag ginana ako, siguro ilalagay ko ung partikular na yon. Tungkol san? San pa ba, edi dun sa bagay na masaya. Pero may kinalaman ang isa ko ditong kaibigan na kinaaasaran ko pero nevertheless kaibigan padin. Eh basta, un na un.

Nakakaasar nga eh, madalas pag ako nagaganun, parang gusto kong itype lahat ang naiisip ko dito, mas masarap un, kasi mababasa ko ulit, at malay mo, may makakita pang iba at maasar sakin. Edi ok.

Pero hindi pwede, minsan nga naiimagine ko na balang araw, lahat ang pumapasok sa utak natin ay naisasave sa isang memory card na nakapasok sa ating katawan, tapos, kapag malapit ka nang mamatay, [pero siguro di ka na mamamatay dito no, kung may ganung teknolohiya nga eh, edi malamang nadiskubre na nila ang pagiwas kay kamatayan..] pwede mo siyang tingnan, pagnilayan. Magreflect kung baga. Kung pwede lang sana, lahat ang naiisip ko, nailalagay na agad dito, para di na magtatype, tapos automatic entry. O diba masaya yun. Pero pano kung galit na galit ka?
Edi puro nakacensored lahat ang nakatype sa automated mind blog mo [wow may pangalan...XD], tapos makikita pa ng ibang tao ang kasamaan mo, kahayupan ng ugali mo. Eto pa masaklap dun, pano kung isang araw ay may nakita kang chicks[EHEM...], edi syempre, kung ano ano na papasok sa isip mo, tapos maitatayp din un sa AMB mo, amp, patay patay ka nian, edi isipin ng tao lahat ng kalibugan mo.
At mas masaklap pa kung may gf ka at madalas niang binabasa ang mga e
ntry mo. [hi cha, miss na kita... ]

Sige na, ambaho nga naman ng idea ko, imahinasyon, mas madaming maidudulot na kasamaan to. Mapapatunayan nga ng sistema na ito na lahat ng tao ay may lahing backfighter. Dahil, isipin mo, lahat naman ng tao, napapagusapan din ng ibang tao diba? Sikulo lang yun. Kaya sa mga tao dian..[eheeeeemmm...] na galit sa mga bf, tignan mo muna sarili mo ha? Wag magmalinis, madumi ka din, pare pareho tayo. Kaya nga naliligo ang tao diba?

Entry ko to dati sa tabulas, medyo edited na din.. pero.. eto..
Wala nga namng nagbabasa eh, pero, salamat na din if ever..magandang araw po..

mga araw nato..

2005-05-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

sa mga araw nato..

definitely boring, nothing much to yank about anyways..maybe thats the reason im frequenting the site update, not the entries..boring talaga..its a good thing na andian si ate..nagiging out of the ordinary ang mga araw..
ehehehe..

good day..or something..

wala lang..

2005-05-04T16:22:00.000+08:00

pic namin nung retreat.. wala lang..
ginawa lang na parang phinotocopy..filtered lang..

sa wakas..

2005-05-03T20:26:00.000+08:00

malapit na.. sorry kung sabog site..
makipag osohan ka nalang sakin ha.. pfftt..

un muna..

dapithapon..

2005-05-01T21:39:00.000+08:00

ang ganda...matatapos na ang paghihikahos galing sa araw..
parang parating na ang saya..sa susunod na muli ang hirap..
mararamdaman mo na ang tuwa na dulot ng buhay na ito..
ang ganda talaga, halika naman dito, sana tabi nalang tayo..

painting ni cjdesilva to..wala lang..salamat..

walk life..

2005-04-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

I dont know how a person blogs with this situation in mind..
Nahihilo na ako, barely 2 hours sleep for almost 30+ hours now.. ewan ko ba..
Yesterday then..

At about 3 pm, we went my mom's office to fetch her, owing to the fact na ooperahan nga siya kinabukasan non..so magchecheck in na sa medical city..ayun, we arrived at the hospital at around 4 something, from then on onwards, bonding nalang.. kumain kami sa max's dun sa hospital din..we went back to the room and said our[me and my lil bro]goodbyes.. i never actually said anything, i just kissed mom on the cheeks and hugged her..a miracle, sort of..hinatid kami ni papa dito sa bahay, tapos nagbabay din sa kanya, aun, dumating kami dito ng mga bago mag ten pm.

It was a very long night, hindi ako natulog eh.. nanuod ako ng stained glass at full house[pano kaya un, eh sabay un..wahahaha..], tapos naligo at nagonline dito ng sandali..nagusap din kami ni cha for a number of hours, we said our goddbye's at around 2:40 am..di nga siya nakatulog, mageenroll pamandin, sorry ha? =)
After that, wala nakong magawa, paonline online dahil sabog pc at nanonood ng tv..
[to be continued]

undefined..

2005-04-28T21:30:00.000+08:00

I wish I can bring back yesterday..what a day..in my perspective, the start wasnt at all perfect, but the rest was just that. Just this thought, Ive been thinking of blogging about yesterday since yesterday..wah! And still, up to now, I cant put into words what exactly were those happenings. Freaky, the day was so freaky.. freakin' perfect, absolutely nothing wrong. Made me forget present difficulties.

Im going to cut things short, wala pako sa tamang pagiisip para magblog tungkol kahapon, kasi baka may malagay pakong medyo tagilid, or may kulang, ayoko naman nun, kasi di lang naman ako nagbabasa neto, siguro ibang tao din, eh kung mabasa pa nia ate, wah! Wahehehe.. corny ko, ah basta, Id really rather keep the whole day's memory to myself..and hers of course, kami un eh. Wahahaha..tawa nalang.

Thursday, so many things running in my mind. My mom's going under the knife tommorow morning, procedure wont take long, but still, worry overwhelms me. Prayers are all i ask for. Thanks..

The memory of yesterday..undefined nga..unforgettable..damn!
Para po sa kasama ko kahapon, charry.. I love you so much..=)

No Title..

2005-04-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

Freedom, when there, never was it felt
Far sighted, those who seek it
Freedom, unnerving, possible
Not now, but not never

A burden, placed upon a both
Not yours, not mine, not no one
A curse, more than a gift
Not theirs, not ours, its everyone's

Quickly, dont move
Feel it now, sooner its there
Think for it, dont think with it
Grab on, sooner or later, its gone

A touch could do, than never
Freedom, thought it was close
Alas, it wasnt, as the former
Freedom, its for the far sighted

Palabas..

2005-04-24T16:21:00.000+08:00

Oras na.. eto na pinakahihintay mo.. bata, eto na siya..

"sa wakas! matagal tagal na din ako nagantay.. eto na nga.."

Isip ng bata..di rin maikukubli na talagang sabik na sabik na ang bata..sa itsura ng kanyang matagumapay na mukha, masaya nga siya..naku, kahit naman ikaw eh..matutuwa ka din at masisiyahan pag malamang mong ikaw na nga, dahil alam mong nagantay ka din ng may pagkatagal tagal..sa bagay, iba iba sa lahat ng tao eh, depende lang yan sa kapalaran..merong mga sandali lang nagaantay, merong ding medyo matagal.

Pawis na pawis ang bata, wari bay kinakabahan, gusto na talaga nitong makaraos..di na siya makapagantay, nagmamadali, parang hinahabol ni kamatayan kung maghubad. Ang bilis! Maaalala mo ung scene sa pelikulang bruce almighty, nung nahubad ang damit sa isang iglap lamang. Brip nalang ang kanyang tinira. Ganito ba talaga ang nagagawa ng pagkasabik?

Hawak na nia, halos ga-daliri nalang ang layo, wah! pero ano to?! Di na napigilan ng bata, sa sobrang sabik at antisipasyon.. lumabas! lumabas ang.. ano.. basta lumabas! dire diretso ang labas nia, di nia man lang napigilan..patay! patay! ano nalang ang sasabihin nia!?

"@$T@#!%#*&!! Leche naman oh!"

Sigaw ng bata, hiyang hiya siya, biruin mo, sa pagkatagal tagal ng kanyang pagaantay, andiyan na eh, onti nalang, halos mabibilang nalang sa segundo ang tagal, di pa nia napigilan..normal ba ito? palagay niay hindi, nakakahiya talaga..

"Waaaahhh!! Bat lumabas agad! .........

Kay malas mo naman bata, onti nalang, andian na talaga. Ang bobo mo naman kasi eh, ayan na nga eh, andami mo pa arte, tingnan mo ginawa mo! Di ka na nahiya! Ano nalang sasabihin ng gelprend mo nian sayo? Aba! Di marunong magpigil! Tsk tsk tsk.. madami ka pang dapat matutunan..

Katorse anyos kana! NATATAE KA PA SA BRIP MO?!

threesome..

2005-04-23T23:04:00.000+08:00

A story through different perspectives..read on..
hindi sex story to! nice title though..

[Bestfriend]
I look at her as I blush... she's so beautiful and everything, but why does my heart ache? Id rather focus on my food than stare at her. Why am I like this? What's happening to me? I don't want them to know that I'm in love with the girl in front of me. I need to lock this feeling inside of me, Id rather not meddle in this affair. I excuse myself as I finish my food.

As I walk outside the restaurant, a flashback came into my mind, suddenly filling my heart with anger and longing. It was when she and I got together in the lake. Just sitting around... talking... hanging out.. then she became suddenly so cheerful. And there she goes, childish again. I was wondering why she was like that, then I heard it, she and my bestfriend. Together. A couple. I can't believe what I've just heard. It felt like a needle half a yard long had just pierced through my heart and through my chest. The pain was so overwhelming, that I had to fight away the tears, but the pain was too much to hide, and it showed. And she saw it. She asked me if there's something wrong. I needed to hide my feelings. I don't want them to know that I feel jealous. But I'm trying to get over it. And I hope I will...

[The Girl]
So he left. He didn't recognized my stolen glances at him. And even if he did, he doesn't care. He doesn't give a damn about me. I was so foolish to think that I love this guy beside me, to say yes to my boyfriend when he proposed commitment. I was so stupid that I didnt let my feelings do the talking. Now here I am, between the devil and the deep blue sea, knowing that I did not love the one that loved me, knowing the truth that his bestfriend was the one.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked as he recognized that I was in deep thought.
"Oh, it's nothing! I'm just wondering why... people hide their emotions?"
I lied, yet he smiled at me. Thoughts came racing through my head..'nice excuse! dumbass!'
"You want me to answer that? I think it's because it's in our instincts to have a mask carved in our naked face. We are in a world of masquerade. We just let our faces exposed to other people if we enjoyed dancing with them. Did I make sense?" he answered.
"Maybe?" I replied.
Fuck!!! See, I can't even tell him the truth... that I'm not in love with him and that my heart only belongs to his bestfriend. But I know that if I tell him, he will be in deep pain and will lose him. I don't want to hurt anyone, I dont even want to lose him. I think I am realizing why people hide their emotions. Fear. Could it be?

[Boyfriend]
I'm so lucky with my girlfriend. She's everything that I want and everything that I need. I love the way she looks and the way she comforts me. I don't want to let her go. She's my life and if ever she walks away from me... it leave another scar in my heart and I will be filled with emptiness again. I don't want to let that happen again... ever! I promise you baby, I will always be here for you no matter what, I love you so much! I hope you love me the way I love you..

[Ako]
thanks to bryan for letting me borrow this nice story..
some words edited for some reasons.. para mas mahaba.. lol
how sad..i think i know where this is going though..
have a good day everyone..:-D

bata sa bagong mundo..

2005-04-21T21:20:00.000+08:00

The last few days were.. sort of a mix between fun and sad..well, it was mostly fun, of course..I was with my cousins for about more or less four days. I really missed our stupid moments together. I could only ask for more. As of now, nothing new. Well, of course there is. I've gone almost a week now without blogging, so definitely there should be something worthwhile.

This day was very tiring, spent most of it on the road, some on my soon to be school, and of course at home. I never got to do what I wanted today, yesterday, and the many other days before. I really wanted to go and see her, but money was avoiding me. Today then, I am now officially enrolled in UST.. thank goodness, all the constant self bickering and some prayers were answered, I am, after all that, going to study at the school I really wanted to study at. Lucky, yes..a little bit.
Weird..going to different places and rooms, to place yourself among the thousands of students the school has. To be called one of them, a thomasian. Paying a lot of cash for their teachings, and their ever so present requirements and burdens. Still paying a lot of cash for some credentials, facilities, uniforms and such. T'was pretty confusing at first, I really didnt know where to go, in fact, i wasted some precious time waiting for a person at the CFAD office to ask a question to, only then to find out that the answer was far away. Campus is so damn huge..lol.

Tagalog then, ayoko na magenglish..poonyeta..hehehe.
Sa uniform lang talaga ako nakapila ng matagal, ung pagbabayad, at iba pang bagay bagay, sandali lang naman. Nako, at may ROTC pa ako, dahil napakacorny naman ng ibang choices sa NSTP..community service? literacy blablabla? No thanks, magbababad nalang ako sa araw. Standing in attention, parade rest, all that stuff to ensure that I complete the required units to complete the sem. Dami pang gastos at gawain..leche.

Time flies, so quickly. Honestly, I can't keep up with it. So many things, so little time. Andami pang aalahanin. College nako, di ko na matatakasan to. Palapit na ng palapit ang masaklap na katotohanan. Life itself. Silver lining? There is, 4 more days, half a year gone, always and forever. Yes, it makes the fucking world go round. More often than not, it will turn you upside down. Nice.

Ambigrams are nice..

2005-04-14T22:06:00.000+08:00

they are.. an ambigram is a word that looks the same both ways, whether upside down or not..

astig daw eh..

A private life? I dont think so..

2005-04-14T20:56:00.000+08:00

This are some reasons why i dont want to live in the US..
despite the cash..
Some security facts in the so called, "land of the free"

-In large cities, Americans are photographed on the average of 20 times a day.
-Everything you charge is in a database that police, among others, can look at.
-Supermarkets track what you purchase and sell the information to direct-mail marketing firms.
-Your employer is allowed to read your E-Mail, and if you use your company's health insurance to purchase drugs, your employer has access to that information.
-Government computers scan your E-Mail for subversive language.
-Your cell phone calls can be intercepted, and your access numbers can be cribbed by eavesdroppers with police scanners.
-You register your whereabouts every time you use an ATM, credit card, or use EZ PASS at a toll booth.
-You are often being watched when you visit web sites. Servers know what you're looking at, what you download, and how long you stay on a page.
-A political candidate found his career destroyed by a newspaper that published a list of all the videos he had ever rented.
-Most "baby monitors" can be intercepted 100 feet outside the home.
-Intelligence agencies now have "micro-bots" -- tiny, remote control, electronic "bugs" that literally can fly into your home and look around without your noticing.
-Anyone with $100 can tap your phone.
a new technology called TEMPEST can intercept what you are typing on your keypad (from 100 feet away through a cement wall.)
-the National Security Agency has a submarine that can intercept and decipher digital communications from the RF emissions of underwater phone cables.

bored..

2005-04-14T20:06:00.000+08:00

walang magawa..

wala lang..

before the day ends..

2005-04-13T00:41:00.000+08:00

Wrong title..for one, it already has..12:43 am and counting, its april 13 already. Moron.

Before i sleep, or try to, i would like to point out that this day has unexpectedly turned out to be good after all. I just wish we could have talked more, i hate restrictions. Well, who doesnt anyways. Of course, it depends, but..whatever. As Reevan said, "masarap ang bawal." oo nga naman..pero not all times, eventhough he likes to point it is. I got to talk to her for a while, less than an hour i think. I know, that was far from enough, lets just look at the silver lining for now. At least i got to talk to her. Nice day after all. Although it isnt one of those that you would want to remember for at least a day or so.

Goodmorning to you..whoever you are..you've stumbled upon stupidness at its finest..

Bakit nga ba?!

2005-04-12T17:20:00.000+08:00

Linggo. Pinatulog ako ng maaga, sa kadahilanan na kelangan ko kasi uutusan daw ako bukas ng aking tatay para sa kanyang trabaho. Asar. Nakausap ko ang ate ko ng mga hanggang ala una ng umaga, masakit kasi ulo nia. Pero alas tres na ko ng umaga nakatulog...ang galing no. Ang masaklap pa dun, alas siyete palang ay ginising na ako. Sobrang sarap ng tulog ko, parang di nga ako natulog eh. Ampucha, anlupet. Lunes ng umaga, pinapunta ako sa 2 bangko, may mga ibinayad at iba pa. Nakauwi ako ng mga pasado alas diyes. Pagdating ng mga ala una, nagpaalam ako sa aking tatay para pumunta sa glorietta kasama si Ralph. Bumili kami ng bolang pang soccer. Umuwi din kami agad, masakit kasi tiyan ni loko, sinamahan pa ako. Alas kuwatro, andito nako sa bahay. Kumain pa kami sa wendy's. Halos ubos na pera ko, pero ok lang naman siguro. Siguro. Naabutan din ako ng antok, at alas nuwebe palang ng gabi ay umakyat na ako sa kama. Nakatulog ako, pero nagising ako ng alas diyes, at hindi na nakatulog hanggang ala una ng umaga. Nawala na ang pagkakaalam ko sa oras, hindi ko alam kung tama ang araw ng mga nakasulat dito, ah basta. Bat ba ganito..

Martes na. Hindi talaga ako makapaginternet ng regular, sukat banamang tanggalin ang modem ng pc ko. Di ko na ibabalik, baka masira at sisihin ako. Madami panamang trabaho. Buti nalang at inassemble tong pangatlo, kaya eto ako ngayon. Swertehan nalang. Sana di makita mga ginawa ko dito. Hehehe..

Miss ko na siya talaga. Hay naku, ewan ko ba. Masasabi mo din na lagi naman, pero ganun eh. Miss na.. sobra. Medyo nakakasawa na nga to pakinggan, diba lagi na lang to naririnig kapag di kau nakakapagusap o di naman kaya ay nagkikita ng iilang, sabihin na nating, mga segundo, minuto, oras, araw, o linggo. Parang nagiging pang araw araw nalang na gawain ang sabihin ito, parang, kung marinig mo, wala lang. Siguro nga. Para sa iba, sa akin hindi eh. Masyadong komplikado ang mga nararamdaman ko, pero eto sigurado, pag sinasabi ko ito, totoo. Ibig sabihin, di ako mapakali kasi gustong gusto ko siya makausap man lang o makita. Di siya matanggal sa isip ko, at hindi ako makapagisip ng maayos dahil dito. Bakit kaya ganito?!

2005-04-10T15:46:00.000+08:00

My blogger account is new, so in relation to that, i should update often..thing is, i cant, because i was sort of "banned" from using the computer i always use, my dad's. It has a password now, unlike before. Duh. Thank goodness mine's connection still works. Its been a long time since i used this. Its faster than the other one, but so full of viruses. So internet is a patience test here.

I started saturday as a normal teenager like me would, i woke up at around noon, and then watched tv. I always am like that. Lazy, good-for-nothing, stupid bum. I thought it would be just one of those days. I was wrong. Completely wrong. To make the not so long story short, we[we, pertaining to me and cha..] met at around 5 pm at the mcdonalds in barangka. Ang cute cute talaga..wahahaha..peace. I said goodbye to her before 7 i think. Eventhough she was with her cuz, it was ok. I just wanted to see her. Mainly because its been almost three months since we saw each other. I was happy, contented. Well, that was an understatement for sure.

Yesterday, i went to different places in qc with my family. It was ok, although i was a bit doozy from the other day. Harharhar. Got home at around 10:30. Talked to her for a while on the phone, and dozed off at around 2 am.

Evil Genius is so damn addicting. I dont know what is the 'addicting factor' in the game, but it is definitely worth a try. The learning curve is not that hard. I got it without even finishing the boring tutorial. Its sort of a 60's spy genre game, you playing an evil genius, bent on world domination and building the ultimate world destruction weapon. Its a good game all around, it was rated around 85++ % on gamesmaster. Good enough.

This vacation definitely wont turn out the way i want it to be. Definitely.
Damn Work..

reminiscing..

2005-04-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

Re - posted from my tabulas..woot..

The pope is dead, His Holiness, born in Poland, christened as Karol Wojtyla. Died at the age of 84 years old. I believe no one can fill his shoes. God bless his successor.

But my entry has nothing to do with this. There is something wrong with me.. there always has been.. but these days have been different. Im not that irritable anymore, still irritable, but lesser than before im afraid. I dont eat that much anymore, my meal per day average; 1.5. Whoa, and im not dieting. Theres this awkward feeling that i should, and I am, but I dont think so. When ate asks why, I just tell her Im too lazy to eat. Talk about being a bum. 2 weeks ago, I though graduation day would never come, well, of course it will. Such an ass. What a way to celebrate april fool's day, graduate from one of the best secondary schools in metro manila, or maybe in mandaluyong only. Sad to say, im proud of my school. [Huh?!] Well I am, but only such. Because every school has its flaws, and mine has. A lot. But what matters is, those 4 years made me what I am today. I like to think so.

In those 4 years of being a bosconian, on my first year alone, i learned how to use a coping saw, how to put your workpiece in a bench vise without breaking your finger, and how to mix polylite, hardener and dye without making too much of a commotion with its gawking but addicting smell. It explodes too. Best memory from first year? Many of course, but those that stuck itself most in my mind was those pranks classmates played on our god bless her..not! CAE teacher. Mrs. ADELAIDA CORDOVA. And of course, the incident in which a fluorescent bulb hit my classmate on the head when it fell because of a basketball thrown at it. Bwahahaha. Barbaric moron. Oh, and i also learned that not passing all of your shop projects means a 75 for your card, if your teacher is 6 feet tall and you look like an ass like me.

On my sophomore year, i definitely learned that my scoutmaster slash drafting instructor at the present back then[huh?!] was a complete ASSHOLE and JERK. 2nd year was the worst year of them all for me, mainly because of my classmates and that instructor. Imagine having to make a power supply for gameboys and battery-run electronics from a rusted piece of metal and a transformer that leaks. Stupid instructor never let me get my report card until enrollment day itself. Jackass. And to think that he would be my drafting instructor for the rest of my highschool life. Damn that. Best memory in 2nd year? Fieldtrip. Dolphins. Sea Lions. Harhar.

My junior and senior years were definitely the best of them all. Id be blogging about them next time. For the meantime, I would like to say this. I miss my school already, i was there just yesterday and last monday, mainly because i wanted to get my card, and my little brother took the entrance exam. I just caught myself reflecting and reminiscing, while staring at the vast quadrangle and portico. I just realized this. I spent the best years of my teenage life here. Pro deo et Patria. For God and Country. Whatever. This school already has a place in my heart.

testing..

2005-04-07T17:07:00.000+08:00

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